Ah, the horrors of not knowing your own past, they suck, don't they? I mean, I have a good memory of some true key events in my life, and I love that, that I can remember living in a house from when I was about a year old and some things that took place when that happened.

Good times, bad times, they've all been in my memories, but there's always a few blank spots.

Anyway, on to the details.

Anyone who knows me can easily peg me as a top. To be truthfully honest, I've never really.... been humped before. Sure, I've ridden someone now and then, but never have I been out of control and topped in any other way, shape, or form. I've always found it.... Painful? Like my body locks up and just won't let it happen.

Last night I decided to give a *cough* close friend a benefit of the doubt and let him try topping me, after all, I've been doing the same to him for the last few days, and well... Might as well broaden my horizons, right?

Anyway, he suggested I bend over (woof) and while it was a little uncomfortable at first, I suddenly had a massive panic attack before he could even thrust 3 times. All I could see was dark blue figures in my mind, clouding and surrounding me, turning bright red, shifting colors now and then, whining and whimpering out loud, hearing my friend trying to tell me it's ok and I'll be fine but unable to move or think of anything, I even broke into tears.

I.... really don't know what to say. I feel as if something now might've happened in the past and this merely trigged it.

So yeah... I feel sort of out of it right now and a little scared, but I'll keep living... I just wish I knew why I literally was out of it.... Never had a panic attack in my life.

Why do I have to fuck up everything?

Everyone who gets close to me gets hurt apparently, and, due to such a phenomenon, which largely exists due to my own stupid actions, I get hurt as well.

Anyway, guess who's going to spend next week from Tues-> Sunday in bed and contemplating if anyone truly cares about him?



Thanksgiving is a time for family, to bring together loved ones, to have a moment together to be happy and give thanks for everything in your life.

What am I thankful for?

For my split family who only uses me as a tool to get back at each other and have command over the other side?

To the people who call me friends, but for the large part, most of them don't even know me one bit?

To the people who say they love me, but in the end, those are the ones that hurt me the most?

The only thing to be thankful for is my solid footing in the fact I care too much about my life and am too scared of what happens after I die to off myself when I'm as depressed as I have been lately.

Because I KNOW you apparently track my info online and have cited my LiveJournal entries in the past through email, I KNOW you're going to read this.

So let me say this straight and simple.

YOU'RE A BUNCH OF DOGFUCKING DUMBASS CUNTS WHO RUN YOUR INTERNET THROUGH FUCKING COWS, AREN'T YOU?

UNFUCKINGACCEPTABLE THAT THE TIME IT TAKES FOR ME TO UPDATE DRIVERS AFTER UPGRADING TO WINDOWS 7 WAS MORE THEN A DAY DUE TO <8 kb/s INTERNET.

UNACCEPTABLE THAT YOUR TECH SUPPORT NOT ONLY DIDN'T DO SHIT, BUT TOLD ME IT'S AGAINST YOUR POLICY TO DOWNLOAD ANY FILES ON THE INTERNET OR STREAM MEDIA. THAT RULES OUT EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO.

UNACCEPTABLE THAT, ALTHOUGH THE CUNT WAS NICE ON THE PHONE, I DID TELL HER TO CALL ME AROUND 4 PM, NOT IN THE MORNING. WHAT DID YOU DO? CALL ME AT 10:30 AM IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS.

WHAT DID YOU TELL ME THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT?

THAT YOU REALIZE THERE'S A PROBLEM AND IT WON'T BE FIXED UNTIL AROUND NEXT YEAR.

UN

FUCKING

ACCEPTABLE

ANY other ISP can easily send someone out to fix a problem within a WEEK if not a few DAYS. Why does it take YOU at LEAST 2-3 MONTHS?

Are you SO SHITTY that you're busy cleaning up all your other goddamn messes?

Do you REALLY have the audacity to call yourself a "high-speed internet service provider" on your main page, while A) 1.3 mb/s is NOT HIGH SPEED and B) I'm getting nowhere near that. ABSOLUTELY NOT CLOSE.

TODAY, MY PEAK DL SPEED WAS WHAT, 4 kb/s?!

I had a point when it was reading download speed in BYTES instead of KB's.

There should be a LAW against providing internet speeds worse then the fucking 1980's had and still having the balls to call yourself highspeed.

FUCK

I CAN'T EVEN RUN AIM.

I can barely open WEBPAGES.

Know how long it took me to look at a photo on a website? A basic JPG?

7 minutes.

I shit you not, for a JPG it took 7 minutes to see it.

This goes against all rule and reason that it is the year 2009.

FUCKING FIX YOUR SHIT OR I PUT A BRICK THROUGH YOUR FACE.


~Signed a very loving and happy customer.

Thank you http://www.pavlovmedia.com Pavlov Media and all your employees and services for making it IMPOSSIBLE for me to do any work at all, because there is no chance in hell I can send an AutoCAD file back to NY over the internet to get paid.

Fucking break your contract with 88 West so I can get a real ISP so I can DO MY JOB, GET PAID, AND CONTINUE TO LIVE, OR I'LL FUCKING SUE YOUR ASS FOR ALL THE WORK YOU'RE FORCING ME OUT OF.

Warning: This is not my normal journal, this is not my normal mood, this is not my normal comedic stylings, this is, in effect, the hard truth. No, I'm not emo, but I think too much.

If you do not want to think I'm sick and twisted, do not read on.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Now then, where to begin?

Oh yes, life.

It sucks.

You work you entire life just to get a few measly physical possessions then you die.

Yep, you die. Simple as that.

There is no afterlife, there is no faith, there is no heaven or hell, you cease to exist. Every thought you have had, are having right now, and will have in the future is gone. Forever.

You are going to sit in the ground and rot and die while the rest of the Universe moves on through your relatively short life.

YOU DIE

YOU HEAR ME?

DEAD

There is NOTHING more after these short few years you have. NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR ALL OF FUCKING ETERNITY.

YOU

ARE

DEAD.

GONE.

FORGOTTEN WITH TIME.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT SUCKS.

I have these few short years of my life, and I can largely not spend them with the people I care about most.

The people I expect to care about me the most are the ones who shun me.

The people I want to love, society shuns me for loving them.

I kept pushed aside in my short life and put to the ground and work hard, and I die in the end and thats it, no fucking more, nothing else, I'm gone, for all of eternity. There is nothing else after this and THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS WHAT UPSETS ME SO DEARLY NOW AND THEN.

This is the reason I hate talking about death.

I hate experiencing it.

I hate being around people foolish enough to bitch and moan about petty other things when how many people a day are gone for all of eternity?

How many people are killed for absolutely no reason, every single day?

How many people die every day, their death's told about on the evening news, and no one so much as bats an eye?

How many people have lost their ONE PRECIOUS THING, THE THING THAT IS TAKEN FROM THEM FOREVER, THAT THEY WILL NEVER HAVE AGAIN. THEY ARE DEAD FOREVER AND STUCK THAT WAY.

THERE ARE NO 2ND TRIES, THERE ARE NO REDO'S, THERE. IS. DEATH.

I could go on about this for hours and hours, probably loosely repeating the same things over and over and over again while my heart and soul feels heavier and heavier and hurts more and more while I cry over the loss of life and how every second my life gets closer to an end while I'm so far away from the people I want to be near, the people who make my short existence that much better.


On a somewhat related note, I'm VERY happy with my career choice in this matter. To know that I'm saving lives... And I wish I could go in front of the National Fire Protection Association in a month when they vote on all future homes having sprinkler systems in them and try to persuade them in this manner...

Houses can be sprinklered for ~3k dollars.

Clubs, where a few massive fires have occurred that have taken over 100+ lives, could have been sprinklered for less then the price of a minivan.

That's it. I've seen footage of people dying in fires brutally. And for the price of a MINIVAN 100 people could have gone home that one night, yet people are still opposed to sprinkler systems, especially in homes.

I'm going to sleep.

Sorry for this.

Christmas.

A time of peace, of happiness, a time where almost all the troubles and problems of the world are forgotten for a day or 2, in lieu of being able to gather up with your family and/or friends and spend some time in happiness. To be able to relax and enjoy yourself among the company of others who love, care for you, and have strong feelings for you, the same people who watched you grow up and treasured your every moment of life, and no matter how bad your family might be, you almost always could look to the past, remember the Christmas's (or other holidays) you have and feel warm and know that they care.

Well, again, that's most family's, and if you were to think my family would be normal, you obviously don't know me very much, now do you?


So yeah, yesterday I called my father to see what's going on this year in terms of me being in holy fuck Illinois and what's going on in December, etc.

Usually, at least, for the past few years, my family has been going to Belize for 2 weeks every December, a timeperiod which covered over Christmas and New Years, and we'd usually go as one huge family. My father's side of the family, including grandparents, and the close family friend's as well, and my father's co-worker's family. It was always a nice big ordeal, having fun, hanging out, filling up restaurants with just our group, and just relaxing.

Well, I figured I'd be going this year, because my father made such a fuss to make sure I get my passport renewed awhile ago (and I did over the summer), so I ask him for details....

And what more could you expect?

"Oh, we forgot to book you a room this year."

What?

No, seriously, what?


Not only am I not going to be home for Halloween to go take my siblings around in costume / see the newest Saw movie with my sister this year. Not only am I not going to be home for Thanksgiving (largely due to school holidays being retarded this year), but now I'm apparently being left in the dust for Christmas as well.

I even asked my father if he was doing Christmas early this year in NY, like he usually did when going to Belize, about a week before he left he'd do "Santa came early" and we'd still have a mock Christmas and be a big family about it, but no... He's not even doing that this year so I have absolutely no Christmas with family.

The one holiday I usually would put aside my hatred for my family to know they still cared about me, the happiness that was sitting in sleep-clothes til 12 in the afternoon watching my siblings opening presents, christmas dinner, the family coming over periodically, all that happiness... Drained out of my in a flash in "Oops, I forgot."

This is so.... disheartening.

I'm really quite worked up about it, whether or not you believe me or think I'm a stone-cold heartless bastard, I'm really quite soft inside...

So yeah, I have nothing to do on Christmas, how sad.

I sort of guilted father into paying half of a flight anywhere during that time period, whether through guilt, him feeling bad, him shrugging off family duties, or simply because that might be my christmas gift.... but yeah, apparently I can go anywhere for Christmas.

Now if only I had somewhere I wanted to, or could, go.

I'd love to spend a week or 2 with a close friend, a fur friend, or anyone, but intruding on Christmas would be.... bad to do to someone that may live with parents, will be seeing family like a normal person, or just has other close, personal Christmas things to do, so I don't really know what to do.

I mean, I can go back home for Christmas and invade his house for the 2 weeks he's gone, but.... What good is sitting in a lonely, dark house for 2 weeks all alone? I've thought possibly to host a furmeet if any LI furs would be willing to come out to Pomona, NY for a weekend to say hello, would be nice to see them again, but like...

I dunno. That'd only be one weekend and I guarantee Christmas itself would be a major downer.

So.... Any ideas after this wonderful, terrible, heartwrenching, Christmas tale?



~Kraven

NOW THAT YOU READ IT YOU MUST DO IT =D!

Stolen from someone. ^_^ Anyway, yeah, fill it in if you so desire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Copy and paste into the comments and fill it in
Y=yes
N=No
/ = maybe

Would you...

[] Push me into a wall and kiss me?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Slap Me?
[] Have Sex With Me?
[] Slap Me If I Asked You To?
[] Lick/Suck My Neck?
[] Let Me Lick/Suck Your Neck?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed (With You)?
[] Take Me Anywhere With You?
[] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Lock Me In Your room And Take Advantage Of Me?
[] Let me lock you in your room and Take Advantage of you?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Let Me Tickle You?
[] Stick Up For Me If Someone Was Being Mean to Me?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?

Do You...

[] Miss Me?
[] Love Me?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want To Date Me?
[] Want To Love Me?

Am I...

[] Sweet?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] lovable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?

Have You Ever...

[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me?
[] Wished I Were There?
[] Had A Crush On Me?
[] Wanted My Number?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?
[] Thought About having Sex with Me?

Are You...

[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me?
[] My Friend

Jesus FUCK.

I was just sitting on my computer / laptop, paused the movie I was watching to check FA.

Writing a note to someone...

AND MY WHOLE ROOM LIGHTS UP.

Millisecond later is the obvious sound of thunder, but god DAMN it was literally RIGHT outside my window. I thought someone took a picture behind me with the flash on.

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/8332/lightningstrike.jpg


Where the lightning hit in comparison to my window.

Jesus balls.

Edit: ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Another lightning strike, on the other side of my building.

http://www.stfj.net/art/2009/loselose/

It's a retro arcade shooter.

WITH A TVIST (lololol M. Night Shylamen)

Every alien ship in the game is a REAL file on your hard drive, which is deleted if you destroy that alien.

Oh consequences =0

(I like the top score btw, over 4000 files deleted on his HD in the sake of a game. Beat that score)

Edit: Even better, if your ship gets blown up in the game, the application deletes itself.

Awesome x 100

1. Kitchen appliance - A Santoku (Knife. Sharp, and everything I touch bleeds)
2. Salty snack - Sunflower seeds (A hard shell, and a little nutty)
3. Body part - Dong (Cuz I'm a dick.)
4. Farm animal - Bull (Headstrong and easily tempered on certain matters)
5. Planet in our solar system - Pluto (Because fuck you, I'm still here even if you don't think so)
6. Internet meme - ಠ_ಠ (Because ಠ_ಠ )
7. Spice or herb - Curry (A little spicy, but I have amazing taste when treated right)
8. Thing that starts with M - Man. (Because... *checks in pants* Yep, I'm a guy)
9. Article of clothing - Bathrobe (I love to hang around you after a shower, while you're still technically naked)
10. Pudding flavor - Cherry (I'm sweet and yummy to eat >:3)
11. Natural disaster - Tsunami (When I hit the beach, you're all fucked)
12. Color - Blue (I'm a goddamn blueberry hyena.)
13. Lawn ornament - Pink Flamingo (A little unusual by today's standards, but still fun to kick)
14. Type of building - Ice Hotel (I may be a little cold at times, but I can still be cozy)
15. Flammable substance - Gasoline (When you get me lit up, I tend to explode)
16. Something in a lunchbox - Sandvich (Omnomnomnom)
17. Sea creature - Dolphin (Because we're sleek and cute. Also, I have sex for fun [Only human's and dolphins do])
18. Geometric shape - Hexagon (STOP! Hammertime)
19. Time of day - 2:20 AM (The time that, if you were here, we'd be in bed together sharing a snuggle / sleeping together)
20. Electronic device - Laptop (I'm a wealth of information at times, but at other times I just don't want to work)
21. Reason for being late - Was busy fapping (Hold on, I'll write a reason after I'm done ... uh... uh.... *UNNN* Much better.)
22. Vegetable - Cucumber (I'm long, thick, and .... green? Ewww....)
23. Element - Snow (I'm cold and chilly, and detest summer)
24. Dessert - Brownies with Nuts (Again, I'm sweet and delicious, go right for your thighs, and just a bit nutty)
25. Historical event - Warsaw Act (Because no one remembers who / what I am)
26. Two-digit number - 42 (I am the answer to life, the universe, and everything. lololol.)
27. Character in The Wizard of Oz - Wicked Witch of the East (Most likely to be crushed by a falling house)
28. Item in a freezer - An expensive steak (Because to enjoy fully, you have to take your time with me)
29. Torture device - Stretching Rack (I like to make you *cough* stretch...)
30. Disease - Swine Flu (I like to scare the general public but I'm quite harmless)
31. Something on the floor of a movie theater - Aborted baby (No one wants me)
32. Mexican dish - Chile con carne (I'm still nutty, but definitely... meaty =3)
33. Something slimy - Cum (.... I don't know XD)
34. FA emoticon - Yum.
35. Sandwich - Turkey and mayo (Simple, easy, still tasty)


GIEF COMMENTS, I REASONED WHY ALL MY THINGS ARE AS FOLLOWS.

PS, feel free to ask questions / MURRRRR

So.

I went today to figure out if I could get a new ISP, because as you might guess, I attribute using Pavlov Media internet to shoving an old rusty knife down your urethra.

Yes, ouch.

Anyway, after class today (well, after I got fed up with trying to figure dimensions on a building when they aren't listed ( ಠ_ಠ ) I did a quick search for the nearest ISP kiosk/store/whatever.

There really are only 2 ISP's here apparently (besides rusty-knife-in-dick), Comcast and AT&T DSL.

Well, DSL has 6 mb/s speeds @ $35 dollars a month and Comcast has 16 mb/s speeds @ $55 dollars a month, but Comcast is well... Comcast. It's not a rusty knife in your dick, but maybe 2 midgets kicking your shins for a day and a half.

Anyway, went to AT&T first to figure things out, the "store" was a little kiosk in the local "mall" and after FOUR FUCKING HOURS of talking to the people trying to figure if I can / can't get DSL and how much it'll be and such, I get told "Well, we can't give you interwebz."

Know why?

Because too many people at 88 West are already using AT&T's DSL that the series of tubes clogged up. Yes, that's right, the shitty internet here is so goddamn shitty that so many residents are using an alternative ISP that they couldn't supply anymore interwebz to the rest of us. THINK THATS A HINT THAT WE SHOULD CHANGE THE BASE ISP OUT OF PAVLOV?

Well, moving on. I still had Comcast ( *shudder* ) as an option, right...? I mean, it might cost more for installation due to cables being put in and such, but hey, it had decent speeds, for the trade off of a crash now and then.

ಠ_ಠ.......

After waiting 1 hr at Comcast they tell me "Oh, wait, you're at 88 West? LOLOLOL No. We're not paying money to run the wires from the street to the apartment buildings in the back."


....

ಠ_ಠ.......

ಠ_ಠ.............................

THEY REFUSE TO PAY TO RUN CABLES TO MY APARTMENT BUILDING FROM THE GODDAMN STREET? FUCKING ASSHOLES.

So yeah, I'm stuck with ZERO options for ISP's right now.

So I did what people would probably expect me to do.


Yep.


I called Greg (operations manager at 88 West) and flipped a shit.

(What confuses me is he says NO ONE at 88 West is using AT&T's DSL so they shouldn't have aforementioned problem. Well, he says so because it requires permission of the owner of the apartment to dole out a different ISP then already installed. Then again, these residents could just be doing it behind his back. Anyway, moving on)

Greg was nice enough to say though he'll make some calls and see if he can figure something out, so I'm glad to say 88 West is still a decent place to live... They just need to get the fuck away from Pavlov. Asap.

Like, before I castrate something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear JD,
We noticed your blog on live journal about our internet speeds. Your blog indicates speeds of 1.13 Mbps download and .46 Mbps upload. You are allocated a maximum of 1.8 Mbps download and .51 Mbps upload. Your speeds are very close to the allocated maximums and your service is performing at the correct speed. Unfortunately, we currently do not have any upgrade options for your property. If at any time you see that your speeds are significantly lower please feel free to run speed tests and email us the results. If the speeds are lower then what you are allotted, we will correct the issue and get you up to the correct speeds. If you need assistance with anything regarding our service we will be happy to help you.
Thank you,
Pavlov Media Support
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A returned email about them giving me shitty internet (Still, they say I can have 1.8 mb/s and I only have 1.13 TOPS? That's NOT that close.) from Pavlov Media.

Wait, how did they find my LJ?

So, these guys are the E-spies I've been dealing with?

Is it not ILLEGAL for your ISP to track every little thing you do on the internet and report it to anyone that asks, IE - My college?

Someone please tell me there is some kind of law or lawsuit I can nail these guys with for admitting to tracking my internet activity for no reason other then the school was interested.

(And yes, I used my human email that, again, has no connections to my furry self to email them. So it's not like they found out I was a fur through email communication)

Pavlov Media internet connection, the one I use on my laptop through the Apartment.

Average Download: 1.13 mb/s
Average Upload: .46 mb/s


iPhone 3G network that just arrived in town today.

Average Download: 2.22 mb/s
Average Upload: .30 mb/s



So aside when I need to upload files, which is all around crap apparently, my PHONE shits better internet speeds then the ISP here. I wonder if I can just be an asshole and tether my laptop to the phone and use 3g there instead of dealing with this shit.

It's a sad day when a phone beats a laptop / hard/ground wiring by almost double the speed.

Who can guess why?

I'm tempted to go take a word up with the office at the apartment complex here, I'm very disappointed.
1) These are nowhere near the internet speeds I was promised.
2) This isn't the internet PROVIDER listed.
3) This is absolute bullshit.

I wonder if there's a company around here / way I can get a different provider instead of this fuckshit. I've spent over 45 minutes to load half of a 5 minute youtube video, and half the time this provider can't even keep me on Trillian IM service without dropping connection every 5 seconds.

VERY upset and tempted to rape face.

PS - Stolen from Pavlov's site, the site I should be getting interwebs from but apparently am not.

"i want high-speed internet & wireless

At Pavlov Media, we understand that staying connected is of utmost importance. If your community offers Pavlov Media internet service, you can be assured that we are managing your network to achieve a high degree of reliability, speed and convenience."

If this still is, indeed, pavlov being my provider, I call bullshit/false advertisement. I've yet to see high speed, reliability, or convenience (The net crashes for at least a few hours at least once a week). And I doubt they give a rats ass over me staying connected since that fails too.


PPS - Reviews: http://www.broadbandreports.com/comments/2917 Triple lol'd. Almost everywhere I go has full negative reviews. Haven't seen one positive one yet.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/947721/

Read it, I'm going to bed. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Calling Academy of Sprinkler Systems and Parkland college in Champaign, IL.

So I'm gay and a fur, I also curse a lot.

THE FUCK YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT O_o?

Derp.

~Jarett Lee DeLorenzo, Age 19.


This message sponsored by the Furries Who Just Don't Give a Fuck Anymore Foundation.

They're stalking me anyway.

a request of a friend from Bird Word on Vimeo.

WHY?!

Stole this from Havoc:


Answer me first on this question, then forward to your friends. Wait till you see the responses...it's hilarious! !!!


Question is:

If you saw ME in the back of a police car what would you think I got arrested for?

Reply to me, in a comment, then fwd this on and see how many crimes you get accused of.

Who'd be opposed to this journal now being friends only?

I figured I'd never have to do this, but now that I'm 95% sure my college is aware of my furry / gay life and is literally spying on me and snickering behind my back over said facts, I think it's become a viable option.

I wonder how they traced this journal back to me.

http://www.gametrailers.com/game/rush-rush-rally-racing/12005

SERIOUSLY?

10 years after Dreamcast died, a new game is now coming out for it. One hell of a way to celebrate the anniversary of a dead console/company.

I wish I brought my DC to IL with me.

I *am* unphotogenic.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2173172&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=103041478290&aid=-1&id=512096682&oid=103041478290#/photo.php?pid=2402787&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=103041478290&aid=-1&id=512096682&oid=103041478290

The first of a few pictures of me / my academy.

Goooooooooood.

I hate being photographed XD

I wonder if I should reply to the FB from my furry FB account.